Wild Ass

Hey!
Happy Earth day! I am loving the Planet Earth HD series. Cute little pony heads pop up over the horizon. As they gallop across the vast terrain, my lips part to whisper, “Awww.” My sentiment is cut off by Sigourney Weaver’s bold declaration, “WILD ASS.” I pause, my eyes meet my fellow P.E. junkie’s and we burst into laughter. Poor Sigourney, they made her say it twice.

As always, thank you for all of your wonderful e-mails and letters! Especially the ones regarding penis enlargement. Very helpful. But seriously, I love hearing from you. I appreciate your notes about how happy you are with your photo and DVD orders! I put love into everything I sign and I’m glad that you feel it. Lucky for us, James Yamamoto solves all of my computer mysteries. His patience, professionalism, and generosity are unmatched. Thank you James!

Santa Monica’s Barker Hangar was brimming over with nostalgia at the TV Land awards last weekend. Luckily, I had finished my “Taxitini” before Charo came at me with one of her famous bootie bumps. Her energy is incomparable! It was a fun event. I think the awards show airs tonight.

Every day I get a sick feeling in my stomach as I hear police car sirens pulling me over for speeding. This has only occurred twice in my life, but it happens every day when I listen to gangster rap. Music is supposed to be relaxing, invigorating, or at least an escape. Why do artists choose to infuse their music with the horrible sound of their oppressors chasing them? I like rap for its soulful beat, but I end up feeling very aggressive when I listen to it.

As I become more aware, I recognize the negative vibration of certain music. I never thought I’d become a fuddy duddy, but being called a bitch and a ho while getting pulled over, and shot at on the freeway has somehow lost its appeal. When in doubt, tune it out.

What you focus on expands. That is why I am being careful not to focus too much attention on recent events. Instead, I am grateful for all of the kindness and abundance in our world. I am focusing on what I can do to counter the negative energies of those who are essentially in pain. More than ever before, I am inspired to perform random acts of kindness. I am learning to pick my battles and radiate compassion for those who are misguided. Join me.